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Of course it's smart to use attractive photos, but they're going to see you anyway. It's all too easy to work yourself up over crafting the perfect answer when really, being single isn't some terrible affliction in need of explanation.It's everyone's default status, after all. "I stopped asking people why they were single and assumed it was for valid reasons," she says. She'd respond with, ' I was married for 10 years, and we separated for totally valid reasons that I'll tell you about when I know you better." Her dates usually respected that boundary.

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Here, she explains 16 different things she learned in the 10 years of dating it took before she met her partner, Dave, in February 2013.

This is technically something you do before the first date, but it can definitely inform how well it goes.

She realized that may have been a mistake when Date Nine looked her up and down then frowned, very clearly surprised by what he saw.

"We had a torturous three-hour dinner where he didn’t talk to me but kept ordering more food," she says. " is high on the list of date questions that double as minefields.

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