Dating jokes that are clean
My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with someone else's thighs.
(1) In a poll held in the USA, men and women were asked if they would marry the same person if they had it to do all over again.
We’ll speak.” Raquel gave herself a quick spray of perfume, checked herself out one more time in the mirror, and headed outside to wait for the guy.
After ten more long minutes her phone finally buzzed.
Follow the Priest After the blessing the priest said to the newly married couple, 'follow me up to the altar'. 'Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair? 'I've tried that - it didn't work.' Vicky, young single lady visits the local dating agency and explains, 'I'm looking for a husband. ' The dating receptionist needs to find out some details so she asks, 'What are your requirements, please?
When the priest reached the inner sanctum he turned around, and was amazed to see the bride and groom crawling to the altar on their knees. Whatever the bride and groom's circumstances an MC (master of ceremonies) is sure to find a funny wedding speech joke here. 'Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married,' concludes Barry. ,' said her mother, 'Tell me, what could be so awful? 'Still sobbing, Elaine whispered, 'Oh, Ma...words like dust, wash, cook, and iron.' How even a nervous, first-time Wedding MC with no comedy experiencecan entertain and dazzle the wedding guests with 101 funny, clean, and 'field-tested' wedding jokes. Only .99 Molly and Peter have been married for almost 48 years and have raised a brood of 12 children and are blessed with 23 grandchildren. ' 'Well, let me see.' Vicky says, 'He needs to be fine looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at singing and dancing.
" Little Charles Little Charles approached his mother and asked her "Mummy, whats a girlfriend" To which his mum replied "If you're a good boy, you will get one." Charles then asked, "What if I am a bad boy?
Q: What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives your girlfriend wild? Q: What do you call your ex-girlfriend with Pms and Esp? That way if she doesn't like the slippers she can go fuck herself." Flowers A man comes home with a bokay of flowers for his girlfriend and she says "I guess I'll have to spread my legs now." And her boyfriend asks "Why, don't you have a vase?
I’m about to get picked up for a blind date, can you call me in a half hour just in case it’s going bad? Sure enough after twenty minutes Raquel was discreetly checking her watch.
A: If they're not on your dick they're in your wallet. The second one I called mountain dew, because when it came to mounting he knew what to do. Then the other girl interrupts saying "Hold on a minute. " The girl smiles and says "Yes it is" Rich & Poor A rich man and a poor man are both buying anniversary gifts for their girlfriends. " And the poor man says "I'm buying her a pair of slippers and a dildo.
Q: What does your girlfriend and a condom got in common? The first one I called 7 Up, because he had 7 inches and he knew how to keep it up. And the rich man says "I'm getting her a diamond ring and a Marcedes." "Why both? And the rich man says "That way if she doesn't like the ring she can still enjoy the Marcedes when she returns the ring." And then the rich man asks the poor man "What are you getting your girlfriend?
'God', inquires Adam, 'Why did you make Eve so beautiful? Diana, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple next door and said, 'Do you see that couple? A man would not be able to identify most of these items. Mike and Pauline were relating their holiday experiences to a friend.
''So you would love her.' Said God 'But why did you make her so dumb? 'It sounds as if you had a great time in Nevada,' the friend observed.